“Mmmm… pie pants… ” ~ Homer J. Simpson

Deep breath inhale, exhale and realign.

Things haven't been normal here, lately.  I've been going a little bit crazy and baking up a storm.  So much so that I haven't even had time to blog about it.  Good news is though, I have a ton of material to share.  I figure, with the holiday's coming and all, you all won't be too disappointed with this news.

Like, for example, this Apple Cranberry Pistachio Flat Pie.  This one is especially easy to whip up.  In no time at all you will have a dessert to impress the pants off of your guests.  Eww, well, maybe you shouldn't make this if a certain Uncle Hairy Harry comes over for dinner.  I'm just saying!

If you have bad judgement and you decide to go ahead and make this when Uncle Harry comes over and his pants come off, well, you can't say I didn't warn you!

Oh, somehow this reminds me.  I'm addressing the ladies here...  Okay, now that the men are gone, I wanted to let you ladies in on a little secret.  Old Spice Swagger body spray.  Trust me!  If your hubby doesn't wear cologne but he does wear deodorant (hopefully).  Go to the store when he runs out of deodorant and buy him Old Spice Swagger body spray.  Tell him it's deodorant.  You're welcome!

Apple Cranberry Pistachio Flat Pie

Yield: 8 - 10 servings

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Ingredients:

• All purpose flour, for work surface
• 14 ounces frozen puff pastry, thawed
• 3 small Granny Smith Apples, or 2 medium apples, peeled, halved, cored, and cut into 1/4-inch slices (about 1 pound 2 ounces)
• 2 ounces fresh cranberries
• 1/3 cup sugar, plus more for sprinkling
• 4 t. cornstarch
• 1 T. fresh lemon juice
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper
• Five spice powder
• 1/2 cup chopped pistachios
• 1 large egg, lightly beaten

Instructions:

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. On a lightly floured surface, unfold dough, and roll to 10 by 15 inches. Cut into two 10-by-7 1/2-inch rectangles. Refrigerate until cold.
2. Stir apples, cranberries, sugar, cornstarch, lemon juice, and 1/8 teaspoon each of salt, pepper, and spice powder in a bowl.
3. Transfer 1 rectangle of dough to a baking sheet lined with parchment. Spoon fruit mixture onto dough, leaving a 1-inch border all around. Brush border with beaten egg. Lay remaining dough over filling; press gently to seal. Refrigerate 20 minutes. Transfer to a room-temperature rimmed baking sheet lined with parchment.
4. Trim edges, and brush top with beaten egg. Cut five 5-inch vents in top. Sprinkle with sugar. Bake, rotating once, until crust is golden and juices are bubbling, about 35 minutes. Transfer pie to a wire rack; let cool 20 minutes before serving.

Adapted from marthastewart.com

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Servings:  1

Calories:  370

Total Fat:  20.5 g

Cholesterol:  24 mg.

Sodium:  118 mg.

Protein:  5.8g.

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